It's getting really hard to deal with the fact that she had an emotional affair and is still is after 2 years.?

I am not trying to sound rude but why stick with someone who is doing this to you, have you ever tried just telling her that you love her and want her to believe that you would never hurt like this again even emotionally. I mean try some convincing or even doing something that makes it work if it don't than end it, it is not worth staying in a relationship that has no meaning anymore.